You were not meant to be.
Fear, anger, wrath, vengeance – the names they called you.
You lurked like a shadow,
Not visible to all, but always there.
Watching, seeking, and seething.
But you watched me watch you.
You did not flee. Nor did I.
For I saw what others did not see.
Like the eyes, my heart glimpsed at the light within your darkness.
Don’t mind me please.
I wrote a letter to you many times over.
A long one.
It held my feelings –
How I felt about you.
How I missed you.
How much I missed you.
The letter described what we would do,
If we ever got together.
How we’d smile, laugh until our stomachs hurt.
Of shared meals, pillow fights.
Stories told and secrets shared.
Only I never penned the words.
The letter I almost wrote to you,
Stayed with me as you never did.
Falling short of words
Unsaid and unresolved
I seek to absolve
Deeds and sins
The bygones and woebegone
I wish to forgive and forget
With tales to tell
And miles to run
I gather courage
To face the bells of knell
Perhaps, in another time,
On another day,
We’d enjoy the sunset far far away.
You and I’d stand together and smile,
the twinkles crinkling your eyes.
As we would plan the rest of the days of our lives.
You’d hold my hand, warming the chill in my bones,
As I would drink the unspoken promises, drowning my groans.
But, if only it were true.
You & I stand today, not together.
The smile causes no crinkles,
As the fabric of time gathers wrinkles.
I am sorry.
For many things,
I misled you to believe.
Sorry, I truly am.
For I am not weak.
Nor fragile, delicate or beautiful.
You can’t bruise me,
Flatten, trample or pluck me swiftly.
For I am a wildflower,
Borne from the core,
Simple yet difficult,
Common but not easily found.
For I have braved the winds
And lashes of rain,
I have heard the mountains tremble
And the earth dissemble.
For I am the wildflower,
Deeply rooted in the earth within.