Jammed.

Jammed. Unbudgeable like the old, rotten wooden window frame that’s stuck after a heavy rainstorm.

Memories are easy to make. They often choose you but are tough to shake off. They won’t fade until they have taken every single ounce of your soul.

Broken. Like shattered glass.

Splinters strewn. Uncountable, out to draw blood.

Unhinged mind. Fragmented souvenirs. Every time you touch upon them or try to gather it all, they end up searing through your soul.

Musty. Damp, dank smell of stagnancy.

Never moving, rigid and permeating.

When the mind is stuck, the rut seems too deep. The walls close in, slowly but unfalteringly.

I have been stuck in a rut for a while now, three years to precise. Maybe longer. Each time, I feel I am drowning, I have quit whatever I am doing but stayed put. I did not think of addressing the elephant in the room. Until recently. At least, I am aware of my affliction now. I am still not doing anything about it but the walls aren’t closing in. It’s a long road ahead.

Picture courtesy: lifegiva.com

Letter Unpenned

Don’t mind me please.

I wrote a letter to you many times over.

A long one.

It held my feelings –

How I felt about you.

How I missed you.

How much I missed you.

The letter described what we would do,

If we ever got together.

How we’d smile, laugh until our stomachs hurt.

Of shared meals, pillow fights.

Stories told and secrets shared.

Only I never penned the words.

The letter I almost wrote to you,

Stayed with me as you never did.

The Unkindness of Kindness

‘Kindness is not kind,’ claimed he.

Subtle on the outside, it rages within.

Unlike I.

Fighting for a cause, causing a change.

Yeah, it does all of that but nothing’s free!

With kindred eyes, it lures you in,

No gifts In return. All in vain.

‘It doesn’t stop at you,’ said the Devil.

But makes you do it to others,

And others unto you.

Beware, it’s a vicious circle,

There’s no getting out!

But if you like, I can help you,

Just choose your vice.

I am not sure if this makes any sense. The idea of Satan talking on kindness suddenly popped in my head.

Doing good or being good is not easy. A virtue is not easily earned. When it is, it changes you. Your heart changes and you are in tune with the goodness in the universe. But ‘goodness’ doesn’t come easy.

We (at least I) have always pictured Satan as this red beast with horns, a tail and with a trident ready to strike. He is automatically to be blamed for everything we do wrong – the choices, the habits, the sins, crimes etc.

But what if he were a simple and misunderstood being/ fallen angel who just wanted us to know the ‘other’ side of virtues?

10 Life Lessons Worth Learning from My Dog!

Recently I was at Shivaji Park on late night stroll with the husband. As we discussed our day, I could feel puppy eyes on me. Yes, this happens to me a lot. So naturally I went over to the pup to give it a few belly rubs.

I rarely meet dogs I don’t like. I think of it as a privilege they like me back. I am one of the lucky few (I know many who want to bring home a furry pal but can’t) who live with their pet.

I have lived with my dog for almost three years now and have quickly learnt that our schedules have to be managed keeping him as priority. This can be irksome but there are perks. So, I take this opportunity to share a few life lessons my dog has agreed (not so kindly) to impart!

Here goes:

1. Be accepting – acceptance is one of the most difficult things to come by. But it does. Bolt is our first dog and initially my mother, who wasn’t even remotely a dog loving person, was beyond terrified. Today, they are inseparable.

2. Be loyal – fiercely so! I don’t think there is anyone more loyal than a furry friend. It’s a gift really. Unless of course, the other party has biscuits!

3. Be a good friend – Bolt has a social life. He knows more people in our area than we could ever know. He meets and greet almost everyone daily. It can be a bit tiresome but he is patient that way.

4. Build your own routine – this is probably the biggest lesson I am yet to learn. Instead of rushing about things, Bolt takes things slowly. He has his own routine and no one can shake that.

5. Find joy in the simplest of things – another gem. We used to get him expensive toys but what he really likes is to chase us around the house. He loves to play with his tattered ball or even the newspaper will do. He loves walks even if it is to the local grocer. It’s the simple things that matter.

6. Be there for your friends – people often tell us that we think too much of Bolt, that he wouldn’t or doesn’t understand much. He is just a dog. These people are stupid. Bolt understands everything. He has been there for me emotionally. He is the joy of my life. He knows when mom or dad or the husband are unwell. He sits by them without any demands.

7. Accept people as they – Bolt has no qualms about the people he loves or cares about. He is just happy to meet them. He has no conditions.

8. Sleep. Eat. Rest. Repeat – this is the mantra of his life. If only I could try it… sigh!

9. Take chances – like any good Labrador, Bolt is curious. He wants to meet street dogs, cats and even babies. He has been slapped by cats multiple times and street dogs don’t pay him any heed. But he continues to try.

10. Keep the excitement up, always! This is another mantra of his life. He is always eager and excited to be included. He has a unique zest for life that I should aim to imbibe.

I could go on and on, write reams about Bolt. Whenever I watch him as sleeps or when he is simply looking out of the window, I feel contented. He gives me hope.